Me being me

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Phases of school

March 25, 2023

Since my childhood I have always hated school.To the point where I wasn't even interested in going to school. I don't remember a single day when I had not frowned and cribbed about it. I have cried, I have sobbed, I made some or the other excuse to not go to school. This one time I think in the third grade, I had my final exams and I cried because my eyebrow shape wasn't the way I wanted it to be. God I was so stupid. Until one day it just hit me that this school thing is going to end. I knew it on the first day of my tenth grade. I remember being so happy about it. But God had other plans for me, OBVIOUSLY. The initial period of 10th grade was the worst. I knew no one from my class, I had friends from nearby divisions but from my class I barely knew anyone. Also I wasn't active on social media so there was no chance of socialising that way. I tried my best to fit in, which was a really wrong thing to do. All this while, I was dealing with anxie...

Stories

February 01, 2023

Recently my school had a farewell party for us and it just hit me that this year I met so many new people, spoke to a lot of them. And whenever you hear new stories, a part of it gets imbibed inside you isn't it? The fact that we humans are so distinct yet what connects us is our stories. In some or the other way we have become a part of each other's stories. It intrigues me how people always share the stories they've heard as if they loved it. How we catch onto a particular phrase said by someone or unknowingly imitate someone's body language. When we were kids, our parents often used to tell us to not talk with strangers but the fact is that our friends wouldn't have been our friends if we wouldn't have spoken with them or rather shared our stories with them. People often say that you have only 10 real friends with whom you should be close but I disagree can't we be friends with a 100 more people and be close with those 10?. Coming to my la...

Perfectly -imperfect

January 13, 2023

Everyone has their own kind of love language ranging from physical touch to words of affirmation it's different for everyone. This is the way in which we express our love frequently. My love language according to me is physical touch and roasting.If I feel comfortable around you I will make it a point to atleast roast you once.Relationships are complex and have enormous emotions into them. Everyone's relationship is different and we should accept the fact.There can't be any relationship considered as ideal. My sibling and I have always had a chaotic bond starting from being worst rivals to being this close.Never did I ever think of it that way.I remember how as a kid I used her lap several times to sleep on the swing.That was one of the special memories we still share.Then there was the one where we roamed around carrying an umbrella even when the rain had stopped,and then there was the time when we made a house out of the cloth drying stand. I had a lot of fun as a chil...

Half full

December 23, 2022

Have you ever abandoned things halfway? Be it learning to play an instrument or to dance or even going to gym, we probably tend to leave those things halfway.Even I do that I just get this feeling of doing something great and then within two or three days I am done with it and it lays there left alone , rotting away. But sometimes it is as necessary to leave a task half way as much as completing a task, this way you are going to know what you like and what you don't. People are going to make you feel inadequate , but here's the fact- it is ok to drink just half a glass of water to quench your thirst or just run that marathon halfway and get tired or just do that chapter half.It's completely fine we all are so engrossed in the race that we have forgotten what line we want to reach. We are just following others who are continuously running to achieve something ,completing a task even though we have gotten tired halfway. Sometimes I think that I would prefer to be a rabbit wh...

Mirror Mirror on the wall

December 05, 2022

Have you ever looked at your naked body in the mirror? If yes, have you not complained about it? I assume almost majority of the people would have pointed out some 'fault' in their body. It takes us years to accept our body and to be comfortable in our own skin. But honestly don't you think, if someone wouldn't have pointed out our insecurities then we wouldn't have been so self conscious? Isn't it wrong to point at someone's body and say something about it? Reference : Pinterest From age ten till thirteen I was body shamed a lot. Sometimes directly and sometimes indirectly. I remember how my friend pointed out the fact that I take a lot of space on the bench which leaves her with no space to sit. Not only this but once someone said that I have very big lips and laughed at me. Honestly it did hurt at that point of time , like what's the issue having big or small lips ,all are beautiful regardless. It's such an easy task to comment or judge someone...

Be your own cool person

November 09, 2022

Remember how carefree we were as kiddos? Do you really feel you are the same now? I assume most of you would deny, even I'd deny the fact that i haven't changed. Don't you think we have lost a bit of ourselves fitting in? Becoming so called "cool" people. After a long time of learning and un- learning what I've observed is that a real cool person is one who doesn't believe in groupsim, doesn't judge, acknowledges people's presence, shares opnions, makes people comfortable and is happy with being comfortable in their own skin. Now, this is not a checklist but some qualities i saw in the people around me whom i really admire. Today, being cool is having a certain outfit, or a music style, and surprisingly being mean is considered cool too? And I'd be lying if I said that I didn't think it was cool. ( yes guilty as charged) Remember as kids, these things didn't matter. God knows how messy we used be, all we cared was about playing and j...

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